david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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