Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
