i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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