We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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