508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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