i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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