We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
