he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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