WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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