Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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