"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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