I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Randomize
