Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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