Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
