They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
