I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
