Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
