dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
