Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My liver just broke up with me...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
