guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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