Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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