You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
