There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
