I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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