I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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