I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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