Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
