he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
