At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
