every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Randomize
