did you get engaged???
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
