I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
