so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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