just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
