I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
