you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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