that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
did you just send me my own nude
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
