are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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