hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
