he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
