dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She said her name was "party"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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