Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
