At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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