I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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