I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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