you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
