Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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