I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
