His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
