my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
