Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
