nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
