Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
