Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sorry my hands just texted you
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
