Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i already hear my dad disowning me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
