Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
