Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
